There are many ways to carry out your existence. As long as you are trying to live your best life, to be kind to yourself and others, to be understanding of the fact that very little is understood, you are doing it right.
Though I wholeheartedly believe that to be true, it is so easy to feel like I am doing it wrong. I thought I would graduate college and feel sad and nostalgic for a while, eventually coming to realize that the endless possibilities life without school presents suit me well. I thought I would fit into the post-grad world, as I have been lucky enough to find my way in every other space I've inhabited to date. Instead, I feel like I am in my 23 year old body, operating at a maturity level of someone who is somewhat older, exercising my youth with the vivacity of an 80-something whose bad hip makes it difficult to go out and have a good time. My hips are fine. There is no excuse. And yet, I continue to live this way, paralyzed by the Great Unknown, a horrid creature that has done nothing but wreak havoc.
I have been stuck for far longer than I ever imagined, and I want out.
So, I am creating a Fresh Start Manifesto. 2017 is coming, and with it, the chance to begin again. I have never bought into the idea that a new year can bring about a new you. Change is slow and often disappointing- it seems unwise to place such pressure on what is, in actuality, just an excuse to buy a new calendar. While I do not wish to set unrealistic expectations on the coming year, I have decided to lean into the symbolism. 2017 won't be the year I graduate from college, break up with my boyfriend, or move back home. That already happened. So now I, like everyone else in this world, have a choice to make. On January 1st, I can continue to hold onto the misery and anxiety and emotional rawness I have experienced over the past 12 months, or I can begin the arduous process of letting go. I am too clumsy to walk backwards. Forward it is.
Rules for the Fresh Start Manifesto are simple. Set aside some time for contemplation and be honest with yourself. Rather than set goals, make a list of the ways in which you want to live, the qualities you wish to possess, and the hopes you have for your relationships (familial, friends, etc.). This list can be amended throughout the year. It's just the start.
1. I will accept love that is both mutual and kind.
2. I will make time and space for the people in my life who make time and space in return, letting go of relationships that don't seem to have room for me any longer.
3. I will make an effort to meet new people, opening myself up to those who may be in my life for an evening, a few months, or a lifetime.
4. I will tell people when they have hurt me, expecting and accepting the same honesty from others.
5. I will write myself a letter at the end of each month. In 2018, I will have 12 letters to read throughout the year.
6. I will treat myself like I treat my best friends.
7. I will let myself heal at whatever pace is necessary.
8. If and when the time comes, I will create a Relationship Manifesto, making a list of what I need and expect in future romantic relationships.
9. I will express rather than suppress my emotions.
10. I will treat my students with kindness and compassion, encouraging them to be their goofy, creative selves each day.
This list is simple. I already try to do most of what is written here. The Fresh Start Manifesto is just a reminder, a place to revisit when life is confusing and lonely. If nothing else, it is therapeutic to write down the ways in which this year could be different, in which your approach to life could change. I hope that 2017 treats you kindly, though it will inevitably be filled with unforeseen twists and turns. One addition to my list above is that when the twenty-something condition has got me down, I'll share my thoughts and what little knowledge or wisdom I have gathered. Stay tuned.
Rules for the Fresh Start Manifesto are simple. Set aside some time for contemplation and be honest with yourself. Rather than set goals, make a list of the ways in which you want to live, the qualities you wish to possess, and the hopes you have for your relationships (familial, friends, etc.). This list can be amended throughout the year. It's just the start.
1. I will accept love that is both mutual and kind.
2. I will make time and space for the people in my life who make time and space in return, letting go of relationships that don't seem to have room for me any longer.
3. I will make an effort to meet new people, opening myself up to those who may be in my life for an evening, a few months, or a lifetime.
4. I will tell people when they have hurt me, expecting and accepting the same honesty from others.
5. I will write myself a letter at the end of each month. In 2018, I will have 12 letters to read throughout the year.
6. I will treat myself like I treat my best friends.
7. I will let myself heal at whatever pace is necessary.
8. If and when the time comes, I will create a Relationship Manifesto, making a list of what I need and expect in future romantic relationships.
9. I will express rather than suppress my emotions.
10. I will treat my students with kindness and compassion, encouraging them to be their goofy, creative selves each day.
This list is simple. I already try to do most of what is written here. The Fresh Start Manifesto is just a reminder, a place to revisit when life is confusing and lonely. If nothing else, it is therapeutic to write down the ways in which this year could be different, in which your approach to life could change. I hope that 2017 treats you kindly, though it will inevitably be filled with unforeseen twists and turns. One addition to my list above is that when the twenty-something condition has got me down, I'll share my thoughts and what little knowledge or wisdom I have gathered. Stay tuned.
